Candida Royalle Megupload

MUCH OF MY MOTHER IN FRONT OF SEX, WE ARE ALL ANIMALS

(Published in the Daily Reporter on 7/28/1910)


The sadness of his flesh, smell alone. The climb at such a young age the walls of silence, without blanket, sticks nakedness of their irreverence whenever moisture lacera, without pause, the cold wind that is woven over its ghosts ... then find out every night, different shadows that inhabit each of his days. The bleached bones, violated, covered with a meat heats obligations to the extent of the contribution of each customer, underpins the swallows bag in the middle of trails weaves enjoy storms temper, appease shame, which simulated strength ... bend, move, as some trees every time the wind blows. Night, just after unmasks their thirst, their right of ownership and the need to rescue a life that lays claim to love the meat, mouth, breath, face without expression, without passion and genital without forgetting a name. Appears to be 17 years, although a witness before any legal document demanding his majority. A victim, perhaps unknowingly, child sexual corruption. Those who seek to satisfy some aberration teenagers, thinking that money will compensate any consequence. In clubs, hotels, clubs, restaurants, shopping men, women, girls engaged in it. They move millions in this perversion of some in any way to access this illicit sex, and other ... to exploit and profit from it. The old body that is carrying, despite its short age, he has planted a smell that fills storm of forgetting-for-all to live outside their hurricane silence.
Sometimes the pleasure turns into pain and someone buries their misery lower it, raising their fears and even their own safety. And while in some other opportunity enjoys what he does, beyond the money that it received ... there are times when the round danger. When forced to do things that you feel disgust and self-esteem assaulted him beyond what he perceives it has abused. At that time must appeal to their intelligence. To this experience that has left the streets. Then it must be a psychologist, police, adult woman, lover complacent prey unconditional simply to survive another day ... but each time they return, find a sadness able to point out every night, the Red Book of the lesson of guilt.

"I have called several times. Others, has used the mail to express their desire to talk with me about his life. We agree on a popular shopping center west of the city. I addressed then, without much formality.
- Hello license, he says, in this short talk that the cell has imposed on our youth. In this new language it is today, an entire social code.

- Hello ... how are you ?.... sit, I say. It does, make a juice and tells me
- I really wanted to know. To tell my story. I just turned 18 and this mall is one of the sites I develop my work. Tell me why you missed for so long???. I would never return and would not be able to tell my story to the world ... but, what good back and here to listen ..

- What are you doing?
- I have fun and entertain the great lords who want to be with a shaman as I

- certainly does not look a day over 15 years. Top tight, Jeans miniskirt, boobs apparently operated, boots. Apparently, the necessary gear for the office that says exercise ...
- For a couple of years visited shopping centers, nightclubs, hotel lobbies of some accompanied by several of my friends. There we sat, and always get "lift" for all. Choose among those we seek. Coordinate the price, the place where we are going to be, and what the old men want to do with us. We agree to the conditions and procedures ....

- How did you start?
- A cousin and his friend raped me on the beach when I was twelve, a vacation home of an uncle. They gave me a beer ... and Then, while one grabbed me, another violence to me. When I came home and told my mom and I wanted to believe. I told my aunt, and he said he did not believe me, if it was true ... sure, I had searched for how I dressed. That looked like a fox!

- How do you dress?
- Like a kettle. Like all my old shaman. From tiny Mom always dressed me very modern. Let me paint since he was eight years ... I had a beauty contest. He talked about sex in front of me. I explained the tongue kisses. Orgasm ... a lot of things I set out to find out for myself. Burda clear to I fooled anyone.

- Please continue your story, I interrupted you ...
- Well after no one did anything, my cousin began to touch me every time I looked. Looking for ways to be alone with me, and I put my hand under her skirt ... and not accusing him because it was useless. Just trying to avoid it. One day her sister was fifteen, and became a big party at a local around here close. Would have thirteen years. I took a few beers ... and I did not know what he did. My cousin went back to have sex with me, but this time without violence. Apparently, because I do not remember anything, so I consented. Le I told a colleague, and told me she had passed something similar, but with a neighbor ... and then, it was proposed to have a good time to rejoice the note and had become "his girlfriend." Always thought of it. Until one day, my cousin tried to touch me and I consented. He missed half asked me ... do you really want? And I said ... Of course I want! ... Teach me!

- What do you teach?
- everything! I can assure you taught me everything. But I also damaged. For me as his sex slave. At first I enjoyed it, but after disgusted me. Until one day he invited his boss who liked girls to meet me. He took me to his apartment and left me with him. A gentleman, licenses. Smell good, loving, sensitive, generous ... taught me some things about privacy, and within all respected me. She fell for me and gave me many things and a lot of money. It was my San Nicolas.

- How old was he?
- as sixty

- And you?
- Nearly fourteen. Then my partner and accomplice, when I told him I proposed to seek more lords higher for more gifts and more money. I said, you and I that we are "two good", let's have fun and lined. Then took me to a lady who made the contacts, kept half the money, but we guarantee our customers safe, neat, with talks and we were not going to hurt.

- Te ...
harlot - That sounds very bad, better say it gave me ... that's what I did

- What you did or what you do?
- What I'm not doing ...

- How is that?
- In the midst of this living, I met a man LM (and asks me to identify because it is sure that he will read this interview and she wants to know what they mean in your life ... those are his initials). For he felt a special appreciation. Took me in his arms, I toñequeaba, full of loving, nice, nice .... But never attempted to have any kind of touch or attitude, beyond the formal affectionate. Sometimes crying for a daughter he never knew. Sometimes I gave what he called "decent clothes." I had to film and although I paid the price for my services and sometimes more, never became effective counterpart for this payment. One day I asked my parents. I said, mom sews. Dad never knew. We are in Merida and came when mom was pregnant and the family did not accept. I asked as my mom called and said Carmen Rosa ... did not ask more. And he went on to talk about something else.

- How long did that relationship with him?
- Wait till I tell Licen. One day I was with another man. As was the favorite of the group. I preferred because it was the chama, but was most required. Had also learned some tricks that delight and tied to older men. Was eating sushi in a restaurant that makes me mad, and he was there ... I guess with his family. He stood, approached the table where I was with a client in much the same age as him and said ... I am your uncle, unless you know a family that go before you call some authority terminated. My friend apologized and left. I ... in one piece!. Almost without reacting. I thought he had gone mad, jealousy devoured it ... but do not understand it, never was his wife ... I waited a few seconds, and half upset ... I asked what's wrong? ... you're not my owner! .. If anything a customer ... do not take more responsibilities you have no ... no go crazy!

- How do you react?
- I looked ... a mixture of anger and pity him from my perception invaded. He gave me a kiss on the forehead ... and went to the people I walked I was as surprised as me ...

- What did you do?
- I was filled with value. Long ago I swore I would not be anyone. Nobody else was going to humiliate me. That no more impositions. That was enough for some quenched in my body all its miseries and aberrations for money. But zero feelings. Zero weaknesses. Then I sat down and continued eating my sushi. I saw when he stopped and remembered how the first time, would not let me undress. How, while others have wanted me in the same car ... he is taking all the time engaged to advise me ... I felt sorry for him and me. Maybe he had lost the only person who hired me to try to make me better. And it ... the daughter he never knew. Gave me mourn, but long ago that I have that weakness. I went home and worked no more that day. He is the best thing that ever happened in my life ... I wish I read this and know how happy I did.

- Do you feel quite independent of what you do?
- Licen treatment, treatment. If I think about it this is not business as independent as I wanted. Each school, every club, every hotel lobby is someone who imposes its rules. A clever or shrewd that keeps a big chunk of what we produce, just to afford to practice in the area where he or she has some influence. I work with Donna, the day I feel bad or I have the rule gives me 300 Bs and sends me to sleep. After what I paid deducted from the other I do.

- Do you have a boyfriend?
- No

- Have you had?
- Yes, but everyone wants is to make love to me. Although they do not know what I do, because they think I am the daughter of a wealthy family so I can spend, know that I am liberal about sex, a gift as I said ... and they all want is that nothing else. Most men are pigs Licen .... Forgive you because I admire him a lot, but I've been to doctors, teachers, those that appear in newspapers and on television, you see them not asking me to break a plate ... do the most filthy. They stuck his hand in a restaurant. Asking him to do things that not tell you. I wish I had a boyfriend like LM and see what I had not imported the old. I'm not a prostitute, if ever a lady in waiting. Study in University, I love sex and, if in addition to pleasure I can bring all the material I want, then welcome!.

- Do not like the life you've led?
- No, I think anyone can like have a price in life. Even discuss a cut from time to time by it. But circumstances force ... time passes and one gets used.

- What do you dream?
- Graduating. Barquisimeto leave. Rebuild my life. Having a selfless love. A daughter that I can tell all without fear that I can punish. To know that I have over any mistake you may commit. Because parents are not only those who criticize and punish their children when they are wrong ... there are those, subtracted with them when they need it. People who reach out. Forgive them. Do not make them feel miserable. Outputs let them different and more honorable than I had to choose. And if you were to violate, rather than deny it or reprimand her or make her feel ashamed ... the girl leaning over the world. I have had to be a cop, adult, slut, submissive, perverted, perverted ... to go out sometimes good trance that I've found. At my age, and crazy as I look, I had to sweat my maturity. Mourn my independence. Having my sexual arousal. Renounce love. Miss the affection. Having to discover the warmth of the father in some weakness of some customer awareness sorry. Shouting will not have to mourn what I am .... Dream to have different possibilities to which I had. Having a family someday. That the one I cherish not do it because it is their right to be paid. Licen My dream is simple but previously unattainable for me. You simply have a family ... you, whom many people read, listen to me and publish my story. That of the fox, as I say my uncles, who had no other alternative ... to look at themselves in the mirror. And so they do not trust anyone. To me, got me into this abuse of a relative. And if something I've learned in life is that, unlike the sex ... we are all animals. Neither

so young, not so crazy. The fire only burned the notion of a lifestyle. That which is not permitted to defend royal. Not even be like others wanted or thought. The same life that made him attack, perhaps unwittingly, who did not hate and not even know. The need for survival, revenge, lack of affection, that tear others often had to make his toy destroyed his space, he breached chocolates, candies, piñatas, cakes and stories, to draw a child in her womb grotesque landscapes that drew lewd forever there below the navel, perversions adult books for your child unusable. Had to discover, from the sidewalks of fear, abuse from shortcuts, from the turbulence of a violation, how life is just a mirage. An accident turned over to a passion of those in the midst of its collapse and even misunderstanding, invented in his innocence, his comic irreverence, in the silent protest with the most characteristic of the female gender, fleeting joys of accomplishments to celebrate victories that only feel in the flesh. She is a woman, those who have seen the birds ... suicide wings, the trip on the wind.