frequently with doctor in his office and keep track of blood, especially seeing how the liver reacts to the amount of immunosuppressive drugs. I will up the dose slowly but, by strict control, monitoring the response my body has this medicamentación.
The doctor also decided to incorporate probiotics into my daily diet, vitamins and many proteins.
was still very weak and without energy, he saw no recovery yet, despite all medical efforts, staff and family.
I wondered why everything was so hard to battle with ulcerative colitis and foremost .... what was the difficulty of recovering a normal lifestyle without many drugs ....
When I was hospitalized, was concerned that my daughter Ximena had generated a weakening of his health.
had lost a lot of weight, looked haggard, lack of energy and tight.
was still in college in a career that was demanding and in parallel, with me in the continued hospitalization.
Despite having to please the energy of youth, I was really overwhelmed by the stresses of her sick mother and the end of his college career. Both situations affected their emotional stability.
I felt very guilty to share with her this difficult stage of my life. With
superhuman efforts to recover these problems arise in human relationships.
All have given too much of themselves and have stressed to the limit: double crisis symptoms appear.
This was not only devastating to me, this situation was too strong for my kids.
was a deep existential crisis that puts on the table family loyalties and the sense that it is the life for everyone in the individuality of each person and the whole family.
This situation caused me such an imbalance that had to be hospitalized in the hospital emergency totally unbalanced on the psychological and physical, with rectal, vaginal and rectal pain stomach, etc..
Doctors can not explain this imbalance, either originally told them.
was an oversight, perhaps I should not do. Maybe I would have understood better what was happening and how to detonate so great imbalance.
felt that pain came from the soul and I could not control.
In the hospital she spent her days crying, not knowing what to do.
seeking balance in healing, I felt I did not want to see my husband, though he went every day to me.
did not want to talk to him, even after a week of starting the crisis and taking medication for depression. Fernando
knew from the age of nineteen, and like all couples, we encountered small double crisis. That always exceeded: The core was constituted strong.
I thought our love had created such deep roots in the time that our home could not be disturbed by anything and never would be room for hesitation between them.
In one of Fernando visits to the hospital, I realized I did not draw anything to avoid it. Only
I was face to face facts that separated us.
had decided that we took away, just so I could exercise some restraint and weight. Nobody wants to suffer
for themselves and any situation of couples in which the perceived lack of reciprocity in their affections, opening wounds too deep ends, deepened by what one feels entitled to ask.
Arriving home, I visit my friend Maria Angelica. I have to stop writing that such personal issues that disrupt the emotional, you can only talk to specific personalities.
This is the case of my friend, and, other times I had proved to be a person with maturity and ability to accept balanced the issues you raised.
addition, perceived as a genuine concern for the welfare of my person, for the mine.
All this gave me the confidence to open up to her and refer, without fear, this intimate and painful trance living.
reflections, through conversations with my dear friend, did not wait, with it, a trip to a reality that must be acknowledged: we know that physical limitations are personal, the sufferer who is sick .. .. that no one company can make in the way of physical, mental or emotional puts life.
may be close to one, but also threatens one: to prevent the other person to live his own reality, is an act of profound selfishness in which he had to learn not to fall.
learned, that everyone has within himself the inner engine that makes her happy or unhappy.
The responsibility to live, emanates from a deep conviction that each one of love life.
had to understand that their struggle to deal with this painful disease that I suffered, edges of survival was different in me and him.
Although struggles were different, it was also motivated to achieve it attached to life and all that is good and beautiful. It was not something against me ....
Moreover, thank you for your company committed and dedicated.
With time, understanding both what was on each one, we have this second maturation which gives way to tenderness, friendship, gratitude .... which is what brings people together.
I come to mind the words of Mom "love to death is not a privilege but a victory."
I feel that I chose well, away from emotional distress, because I chose to give way to the concentrated work of recovering as best as possible and try to push myself, to give up this effort to God in his infinite goodness giving my body and my spirit with the highest health as possible when needed.
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