(Published in the Daily Reporter on 07/14/1910)
inadvertently and ironically for love, start playing today hatred. To try to get out of that rage, that vast sea of \u200b\u200bmisery that lived sometime ... bury the image of that life partner that, from a weakness of his, began to smile just from the shadows. It was left to win by blackmail, by his desire to please. Came to the place where passion is often unfortunate counselor. A sewer that made him happy, and her extremely unlucky. To be only an accomplice of a relationship in decline. She felt she could "atone for their sins" accessing some concessions. Pleasing some fantasies. Tolerating some excesses ... It got a day, prostituted. Disrespected. Not Rated. Subject to manipulation, which was led to believe was free. Dirty. Violated, not only in body but in dignity.
began with a trio, which endured in penance and love. Justifying its sterility, the unpleasant news that could not be a mother, gave to the fantasy of your partner keep looking. After a quartet. Later an orgy. Then in the midst of this lease, had given his shame. She says she loved him blindly. Did not want to appear before him as a prude. Today he feels that he abused that. Y made her meat consumption. In group sex tool. A waste of shame, subject to juggle so much shame felt insomnia and undrained. Now think, perhaps wrongly generalized that men were given the reasoning, just to see how smart assaulted. Today he feels that way, the path, shortcuts, travel, love, sex, is the feeling confused embers of life, which sometimes leads only to the corners of the waste. The love, affection, reciprocity with respect, he argues, are nothing but a lie repeated a thousand times, which seeks to deceive against the benefit of others. He lived the horror of being forced to practice intimate that lacerated the place of respect in the name of love!. Storm lived horror, every weekend while waiting for the surprise of his girlfriend, who was turning his initial fantasies nasty aberration. The smile on his face. The pleasure in torture. Privacy in collective fact. The Little Red Riding Hood in Juana la Loca. Today is accompanied by a sense of guilt. A fetid stain that can not. The reality has shown that many men are no more than a voracious genital tract. Pieces of meat that produce only excrescences fetid, fecal boluses, and forbidden pleasures. A little denial of that perfection they say ... is the best of nature!.
-After some discussion, decides to tell me about your case. With over 32 years. Even thought there ever resting on their shoulders. Speak softly. Slowly. As measuring every word. Each marking. Thinks it has nothing to lose ... my office assists accompanied by a friend who has recommended to drain part of the rain that pierces to the bone, to continue, at some point, his life long
- I do so embarrassed, says
inadvertently and ironically for love, start playing today hatred. To try to get out of that rage, that vast sea of \u200b\u200bmisery that lived sometime ... bury the image of that life partner that, from a weakness of his, began to smile just from the shadows. It was left to win by blackmail, by his desire to please. Came to the place where passion is often unfortunate counselor. A sewer that made him happy, and her extremely unlucky. To be only an accomplice of a relationship in decline. She felt she could "atone for their sins" accessing some concessions. Pleasing some fantasies. Tolerating some excesses ... It got a day, prostituted. Disrespected. Not Rated. Subject to manipulation, which was led to believe was free. Dirty. Violated, not only in body but in dignity.
began with a trio, which endured in penance and love. Justifying its sterility, the unpleasant news that could not be a mother, gave to the fantasy of your partner keep looking. After a quartet. Later an orgy. Then in the midst of this lease, had given his shame. She says she loved him blindly. Did not want to appear before him as a prude. Today he feels that he abused that. Y made her meat consumption. In group sex tool. A waste of shame, subject to juggle so much shame felt insomnia and undrained. Now think, perhaps wrongly generalized that men were given the reasoning, just to see how smart assaulted. Today he feels that way, the path, shortcuts, travel, love, sex, is the feeling confused embers of life, which sometimes leads only to the corners of the waste. The love, affection, reciprocity with respect, he argues, are nothing but a lie repeated a thousand times, which seeks to deceive against the benefit of others. He lived the horror of being forced to practice intimate that lacerated the place of respect in the name of love!. Storm lived horror, every weekend while waiting for the surprise of his girlfriend, who was turning his initial fantasies nasty aberration. The smile on his face. The pleasure in torture. Privacy in collective fact. The Little Red Riding Hood in Juana la Loca. Today is accompanied by a sense of guilt. A fetid stain that can not. The reality has shown that many men are no more than a voracious genital tract. Pieces of meat that produce only excrescences fetid, fecal boluses, and forbidden pleasures. A little denial of that perfection they say ... is the best of nature!.
-After some discussion, decides to tell me about your case. With over 32 years. Even thought there ever resting on their shoulders. Speak softly. Slowly. As measuring every word. Each marking. Thinks it has nothing to lose ... my office assists accompanied by a friend who has recommended to drain part of the rain that pierces to the bone, to continue, at some point, his life long
- I do so embarrassed, says
- Take your time, I say. It may be another day if you want ...
- No Degree ... and I decided, today will be
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Whatever - I got married very young, just graduated as a dentist at the University. He was not yet 24. He, a lawyer. Italian parents. We had two years of dating. Two years rather special. The best of the world, I think. The ideal partner. We came to Barquisimeto, started working and try to start a family ... He spent a year and could not get pregnant. He wanted to be a father to all events. His family pressed. Mine, also making jokes about it. Yet I felt no rush. I thought that at any moment would be. That when God available to me was fine. However, pressure from family, his desires, I did see a specialist who determined that, presumably due to an operation of ovarian cysts in my teens, I would be very difficult to get pregnant. Sterile, I would say that was the diagnosis.
- How did you react when you told?
- I do not know what to say ... he was with me when the doctor gave me the news .... sweetened, softened, with some distant hope ... but not too strong to grasp the gravity of the situation. Was stunned ... I hugged him. He was teary-eyed, but that was it. Rather tried to give me courage, strength and confidence. However, he was an insatiable in sex failed that night. I, I understood. I thought the conditions were not ... but inside, I felt a strange cold ...
- What happened the following days?
- First, encouragement of the family. Then jokes, the kind that will leave scars. His family, if you know their traditions began to complain privately first, then increasingly in public that the setback would suffer because of me offspring. Especially because my husband is the only son. He increasingly absent. Our intimacy began to alter and everything seemed to collapse. I spoke with my friend more close, Camila, who accompanied me today, also with my parents to see what was .... One night I decided that if I wanted so much, I could not do so guilty of my handicap. She could not punish their natural desire to be a father. That did not have to pay some dishes that did not break. That if the problem was me, then it was I who should bear the consequences of my problem.
- What did you do?
- I talked to him. I told him I loved him, and therefore should not be the cause of his sadness. I was willing to give divorce to restore freedom to my regret, in pain ... if he wanted. And if not, she was willing to do what I ask, to see her happy .... I hugged him. We cried together. He kissed me. We made love again, as before. I figured it was a farewell. A beautiful and painful farewell ... but I said nothing that night. Just turned off the light and fell asleep. I respected what appeared to wish ... not talking. The next day, in good spirits and very early, returned to privacy. To reconnect with this uncommon ardor, he has sex. When he finished, he told me he was going to bathe and go talk. I was confused ... I really do not know what to expect.
- What was your response to your approach?
- I said ... do not want to miss. You know what I want most is to have a child. My parents give so much hope that grandson. Continue the family name, to meet the need of parenting that has always accompanied me. It affected me, as you can not imagine, that you can not be. Which will never see a son of mine run, or play ball, or ask me blessing .... What are you willing to do to compensate??, I asked. Whatever I said ... anything you ask. Whatever makes you happy. What allows me to repair this damage I'm doing. What you can do to make it up, because they can not indulge in being a dad ...
- What do you suggested?
- I thought I was going to propose to adopt a child or a child. I would ask her son to have him somehow. Many things went through my head. He left the bathroom and I said ... "I've thought a lot. In my life plans, it is very important to be a dad ... but I have some fantasies that can make me happy. Some things I have saved, they could compensate me somehow and retain our relationship ... I do not know if I'll understand, I do not know too much to ask ... "
- What did you think when you talk?
- Nothing. Only that I opened the door to keep it. I never thought I would ask, what I asked ... but the sky had asked me and I tried to give him. He grabbed my face and told me ... "My fantasy is a threesome, including in our intimacy with another woman. Since we will not be happy as parents, we will be happy as a couple. We will enjoy the most of our privacy. And that, if I can give. You're the only one who can give me ... "
- What you say?
- Even though I hit, what was at stake for me was much. I did not think, just told him .... Whatever you want. She hugged me and said ... we will be very happy
- How was the experience?
- Well, I tell him. I first set some conditions. I had to agree with the girl, and if I felt bad at some point, I could go to another room .... I accepted. And he has to the person, because the next day he appeared with her at home. What I say BA, embarrassing, humiliating ... but I was determined. He enjoyed it, I suffered. But I felt that this was the cost of not losing by something it was my fault. Not discussed. The next day he returned with another. And throughout the week ... a day, I asked the girl to kiss me ... I said no. But in the midst of intercourse, he made me. And between the two, I did participate. I cried, but I accepted. One day I asked her out like in the good times. We drank champagne, you know I love it. Many champagne. I told you tonight I have something special, but was not in complete sobriety to think about what would be the surprise. We got home, and soon became a couple. I half drunk, I was forced into a relationship to four. Between him and the girl grabbed me, while the other almost raped me. It was an orgy, which also recorded on video, where I did and I did everything. After I showed the video, was that I heard the filth that forced me to do ... and look I'm not prudish about sex. When I was more or less restrained, with little to remember, I said that until we got there. He was a patient who had taken advantage of my guilt complex to meet its aberrations. I loved him, but I was not going to prostitute for safekeeping. That price was too high. That pleased him up there. The pursuit of a prostitute. I had given and that he had abused. I felt violated. Not going to let him become a wreck on behalf Love ...
- Well, I tell him. I first set some conditions. I had to agree with the girl, and if I felt bad at some point, I could go to another room .... I accepted. And he has to the person, because the next day he appeared with her at home. What I say BA, embarrassing, humiliating ... but I was determined. He enjoyed it, I suffered. But I felt that this was the cost of not losing by something it was my fault. Not discussed. The next day he returned with another. And throughout the week ... a day, I asked the girl to kiss me ... I said no. But in the midst of intercourse, he made me. And between the two, I did participate. I cried, but I accepted. One day I asked her out like in the good times. We drank champagne, you know I love it. Many champagne. I told you tonight I have something special, but was not in complete sobriety to think about what would be the surprise. We got home, and soon became a couple. I half drunk, I was forced into a relationship to four. Between him and the girl grabbed me, while the other almost raped me. It was an orgy, which also recorded on video, where I did and I did everything. After I showed the video, was that I heard the filth that forced me to do ... and look I'm not prudish about sex. When I was more or less restrained, with little to remember, I said that until we got there. He was a patient who had taken advantage of my guilt complex to meet its aberrations. I loved him, but I was not going to prostitute for safekeeping. That price was too high. That pleased him up there. The pursuit of a prostitute. I had given and that he had abused. I felt violated. Not going to let him become a wreck on behalf Love ...
- How do you react?
- cynically. Domenico was a did not know. I said it was ridiculous. Neither complete woman was because she could not be a mother. That he was satisfied that I had enjoyed "your fantasies" ... not send her away from me hypocrite ... and also he had a video where I saw part in the orgy. Do not be obliged to show my parents and yours. That maybe I had been barren in who knows what sexual debauchery. ... And many other things, too ugly to count. I screamed, I hit him ... until he left the house. I cried, I cried a lot. I felt dirty, disgusted at myself for having reduced both by a man who was not worth showing. But I took strength from which he had and talk to mom and told her everything. We cried together, drain ... and she gave me confidence. Let me talk to your dad, he said. I know him and know how to tell him not to go to Domenico react so that you can create an additional problem. Let's get professional help and prepare the papers for divorce ...
- cynically. Domenico was a did not know. I said it was ridiculous. Neither complete woman was because she could not be a mother. That he was satisfied that I had enjoyed "your fantasies" ... not send her away from me hypocrite ... and also he had a video where I saw part in the orgy. Do not be obliged to show my parents and yours. That maybe I had been barren in who knows what sexual debauchery. ... And many other things, too ugly to count. I screamed, I hit him ... until he left the house. I cried, I cried a lot. I felt dirty, disgusted at myself for having reduced both by a man who was not worth showing. But I took strength from which he had and talk to mom and told her everything. We cried together, drain ... and she gave me confidence. Let me talk to your dad, he said. I know him and know how to tell him not to go to Domenico react so that you can create an additional problem. Let's get professional help and prepare the papers for divorce ...
- And all these Your husband?
- I stayed in the house of my parents from that time. He went looking, not imagining that I could tell my old "things he had and I had done." What a surprise it was when he tried to pressure the video and learned that in my house and everyone knew what he was garbage. There, I said that he was wrong ... that had been carried away by the liquor, and instinct ... that, think again and here comes the worst, he was willing to limit their compensation for not being a parent, with three single-sex ... no more men in bed. That for me and our relationship, he would this additional sacrifice ... I became so crazy and out of the house pushed .... definitely BA, people do not know until you live with them. Sometimes I wonder if I could give birth, at some point I would have called "a fantasy"? Is a sick man or a hopelessly depraved? How far should arrive sexual permissiveness among couples, without compromising the respect ... even being agreed? How many other women are experiencing the consequences of a double standard that lowers his only when he has to meet certain social conventions? Would it have done me for accepting some form of lesbianism if the relationship remains in the original trio that I had accepted? How far can we take the need for sexual satisfaction? If we both agree it was bad or good so in principle we doing? Does being sterile, which carries punishment against the couple? Too many questions no one answered me, and now I have in front of you, not waiting for me the answer ... just begging to have them published for many women to make them cold. For hot, it is impossible to articulate a response ... sense!
definitely is wound in his dreams. In woman's integrity. In his love partner. Wanting to take that step necessary of agony to rest. Needs to be planted again in morning. Stop making of solitude, only the cradle of silence. Outline, without a blush, a smile everyday. Power to reshape their own ways. Feel a scent on the breeze. And at some point, that love is not alien. Need to re-frisk on the trail, returned to the shortcuts, usually know how sometimes narrow sidewalks, that instance of forgetting where they tend to fade the old secrets. Want to stop somewhere quiet the experience. Live and let the rest continue to live ... even knowing that, eyelids inside, more than a relationship in more than a love relationship, lives in a particular and sometimes mortifying orgy of grief. Will try to stay as the star of your dreams. Stop there, rather than outsiders. To not feel guilty if you have not loved. To let the wounds become scars only that but always remember ... maybe at some point, and not hurt as much.
- I stayed in the house of my parents from that time. He went looking, not imagining that I could tell my old "things he had and I had done." What a surprise it was when he tried to pressure the video and learned that in my house and everyone knew what he was garbage. There, I said that he was wrong ... that had been carried away by the liquor, and instinct ... that, think again and here comes the worst, he was willing to limit their compensation for not being a parent, with three single-sex ... no more men in bed. That for me and our relationship, he would this additional sacrifice ... I became so crazy and out of the house pushed .... definitely BA, people do not know until you live with them. Sometimes I wonder if I could give birth, at some point I would have called "a fantasy"? Is a sick man or a hopelessly depraved? How far should arrive sexual permissiveness among couples, without compromising the respect ... even being agreed? How many other women are experiencing the consequences of a double standard that lowers his only when he has to meet certain social conventions? Would it have done me for accepting some form of lesbianism if the relationship remains in the original trio that I had accepted? How far can we take the need for sexual satisfaction? If we both agree it was bad or good so in principle we doing? Does being sterile, which carries punishment against the couple? Too many questions no one answered me, and now I have in front of you, not waiting for me the answer ... just begging to have them published for many women to make them cold. For hot, it is impossible to articulate a response ... sense!
definitely is wound in his dreams. In woman's integrity. In his love partner. Wanting to take that step necessary of agony to rest. Needs to be planted again in morning. Stop making of solitude, only the cradle of silence. Outline, without a blush, a smile everyday. Power to reshape their own ways. Feel a scent on the breeze. And at some point, that love is not alien. Need to re-frisk on the trail, returned to the shortcuts, usually know how sometimes narrow sidewalks, that instance of forgetting where they tend to fade the old secrets. Want to stop somewhere quiet the experience. Live and let the rest continue to live ... even knowing that, eyelids inside, more than a relationship in more than a love relationship, lives in a particular and sometimes mortifying orgy of grief. Will try to stay as the star of your dreams. Stop there, rather than outsiders. To not feel guilty if you have not loved. To let the wounds become scars only that but always remember ... maybe at some point, and not hurt as much.
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